I was talking to a friend yesterday, babbling on about how amazing my apartment in Denver back in 2012-2015 was (2210).
She then made the following comment:
“but you went back and it wasn’t the same.”
In truth, I’ve been trying to go back to that time ever since I left it, but obviously haven’t been able to do so. How could I?
I’ve traveled back to Colorado in hopes that I’d be able to re-live at least some parts of it. But no.
I couldn’t. Instead, I felt more distanced than ever. It was never the same again. Back then, I was confined to my small apartment downtown. I’d go on infrequent adventures to the mountains, hiking trails, malls, and so on.
2210 was central to my experience, everything else revolved around her.
I used to experience terrible panic attacks in high school (really bad ones, truly felt like I was dying each time). I was always under so much stress that my immune system always malfunctioned- sick every weak. Terrible sickness- I caught a bad strain of the flu in my senior year of high school and it is (to this day) the sickest I’ve ever been.
But it all changed in 2210:
11/9/14, 12:28 AM Hey
I’ve been here for three years zaid and I have never gotten sick. Not once. Remember how sick I got before I came here? Senior year of high school. So bad 🙁
12/23/14, 11:07 PM
Remember the last year of high school and the “heart attacks.” I had to walk for hours to get rid of them and I would be so scared, with my phone in hand
That’s not to say I didn’t go through tough times in 2210 (mentally), but it was totally different; I was flushing out my system.
It was like nothing I ever experienced, but always dreamed of. 2210 is the reason I’m a chronic dreamer; it is because of 2210 that I know at least some of my dreams can be realized.
I’ve come to accept that I can never truly go back. It’ll never be the same. I’m just happy I got to experience it.