I can’t tell you how many times my seemingly unfixed responses have got me in some sort of trouble.
Don’t want to transfer the blame to others, but some people:
-don’t have the emotional intelligence to tell when my answer is ‘no.’
-use whatever tactic is in their acquired arsenal to turn my ‘no’ into a ‘yes.’
It’s the false consensus effect- I fallaciously assume most think and act like me, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m different. Very different.
I’ve learned to be able to tell when someone’s answer is ‘no’ by diligently and carefully observing their behavior. I’m abnormally observational, and have been deliberately studying people since the very early days of my existence on this Earth.
I’m especially respectful of other people’s ‘no,’ even when I very much want their answer to be a resounding ‘yes.’
Unfortunately, I myself am not good at giving a hardened ‘no.’ That’s partly due to the aforementioned false consensus effect- I wrongly assume that people are able to read my behavior accurately and respectfully.
On the other hand, some people can very much read my emotions (which are not always abstract), but simply want to get their way with me. For them, my emotions are notional- mere suggestions that they can play around with.
They are flawed egocentrics, believing themselves to have the ability to mold and guide my emotions as they see fit.
And as is natural with egocentrics, interrupting their operation is bound to cause drama. I’ve been trying to avoid drama, so I’ve been playing their game with them.
But no more.
Moving forward, I’m going to do my very best to make it abundantly clear when my answer is a firm ‘no.’ There will no longer be any room to interpret my answer as they see fit. I’m going to do so with a confident disregard for any drama it may cause.