“When things are going smoothly in my life, something horrendously terrible happens: I get too comfortable. Elongated comfort is in my opinion unnatural to the human experience. Its consequences manifest in the form of procrastination. Later when things get tougher, I find myself regrettably pondering my inaction during the times of comfort. It’s hard to put into words what I’m trying to say.”
-Text message to a friend on April 15, 2018 at 4:02 p.m.
It’s time to get uncomfortable. I myself have to instigate it.
I’ve delayed it for so long that the naturally produced discomfort that is bound to come is going to be intense to the extent of hardcore and seemingly sudden dishevelment. While I much prefer laying the blame on myself, I also admittedly ponder whether comfort has deviously been prescribed to me as part of a wider and more future-oriented scheme to control me. It’s a stratagem that is found in politics, business, and interpersonal ties, to name a few.
On July 5, 2018, I woke up with an urge to write down something that I had been pondering all night long. At 10:19 a.m., a couple of hours after commencing my settlement into this new day, I wrote:
“The most dangerous thing that could happen to those enslaved (any form of slavery), is falling victim to the devious tactic of offering snippets of goodness by their oppressors. This is what keep them in the loop; keeps them in the matrix. After elongated acts of evil by the oppressor, a droplet of goodness is unscrupulously mixed in.
Because the enslaved relies on hope for survival, they exaggerate the droplets of goodness and the dominant evil committed against them becomes blurred.”
I feel so disappointingly complaisant and passive. I’ve commonly preached to my friends that they ‘just go with the flow.’ I now see how terrible that advice is. No way! It’s to the contrary! Oftentimes, the natural ‘flow’ leads to miserable outcomes. ‘Going with the flow’, in the meaning I’ve been preaching, is terrible advice. I have to be proactive in directing my own life’s flow to where I want it to go; not having it ordained on me by society.
It’s been a couple days now since I’ve written on this public forum (at least much more public that what I’m used to). I was really hoping I’d have something more upbeat and optimistic to write, but that just hasn’t come. It’s just not what I’m going through right now, although there have been some times of joy and wonderful optimism in the past six years.
There were a lot of topics I wanted to touch on in this entry, like destiny and free will. What does it mean to fulfill my destiny? But, those topics I found to complex for this sitting. They warrant a more appropriate setting.